Ze Ze Says His Final Goodbyes

The "parking lot" for busy toddler vehicles!

Ze Ze gets a final once-over from his teachers.....

Joshua proudly deomostrates HIS bed!

Joshua even likes the docotor and the doctor seems to like him too!

Ze Ze happily poses for pictures with 2 of his caretakers....

The sick, or hospital room......

Triumphant return to Joshua's "finding spot",

the place where he was found as a week old baby....

Some time at the pool, and he seems to know just what to do!

Sorry, for not getting this done yesterday, but I fell asleep getting Joshua's p.j.s on!!! He had to clap to wake me up to hand him the next part of the set!!! (Don't worry, the adoption is final already, so I can have those stellar mom moments without penalty!!) We ALL went to bed at 8:30 last night!!!

Anyway, the main event yesterday was of course the visit to the orphanage, or social welfare institute (SWI) where Joshua lived. By the way, we are still calling him Ze Ze ("dzuh dzuh") and I have to say it seems strange to keep calling him Joshua on here! Jeremy's Chinese name is Zhe Zhe, ("djuh djuh") which we also still use interchangebly with Jeremy, so please don't think we have totally lost our minds (with the name thing anyway!) if you hear us calling them somthing besides their American names, and that something sounds pretty much the same! :>) But I digress.....

The morning started fairly early, as it is a two hour drive to the SWI, and Joshua was uncharacteristically quiet and didn't eat much for breakfast. Hmmm. Mary had explained to him the night before what we were going to do the next day, so we didn't know if he was nervous or just the fact that we were eating breakfast two hours earlier than normal... We headed back up to the room to finish getting ready and change his shorts, which were literally falling off of him if he let go of them--thought it wouldn't inspire much confidence in us as Joshua's parents if it seemed we couldn't provide the poor guy with clothes that fit! :>) Then, we were off.

Joshua was VERY quiet and subdued as we drove in the van--for sure something was up with this usually busy and happy little man. He would NOT wear the seat belt. In fact, he was crying and kicking, telling Mary it hurt very much, but it was a loose lap belt, for sure not causing pain... So with conflicting issues at hand, his physical well-being and his emotional, with trepidation (I have mentioned the travel in China, right??? I was THRILLED that this vehicle HAD seatbelts!!!) I took him in my lap and he cried for a little longer and then buried his head on my shoulder. So as we continue to travel I was simoultaneously praying for protection for both our bodies and our hearts, and wondering if we should just ask to turn around.... Maybe we had misread his resilience.... We had erroneously hoped that his silliness and good nature meant that maybe he did not have the same degree of hurt and loss that by rights he sould have....

As we got closer the the SWI, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. We were on a three lane road (although, those lanes are merely suggestions, it seems!), heavy, heavy traffic, and the driver stopped in th right hand lane, (yes, with MANY vehicles piling up behind us!) and Mary says we will have to take measures to do things the "natural way in China", and with that, she and Joshua hopped out, ran over to the shrub-lined side of the sidewalk, where he quickly did his business, they hopped back in, and we were off again!!!!! Some cars went around us, but nobody honked that I recall, although, I will have to say, we were pretty much, uh, surprised by the whole episode!!! :>) :>) :>) Add that to "to do" list: Educate our son on western highway bathroom etiquette! It was a comical sight, but somehow it seemed like a picture he may not treasure someday!!! :>)

As it was, we were actually very near the SWI when we stopped for the little potty break. When he realized where we were, he broke into a smile (relief!) and seemed excited to go in! We were led into a waiting room--very stark, very hot, where the worker had Joshua give each of us a glass of warm water, which I have to say I drank with some hesitation, as we can't even drink the water in our very nice hotel, but it was obviously a gesture of hospitality and Joshua was so proud to serve us. It remains to be seen if there will be "reprocussions"--maybe those roadside potty breaks won't seem so funny after all!!! :>) :>)

The caretakers were VERY glad to see Ze Ze--it was evident that they cared for him very much, and he for them. He insisted on wearing his hat and sunglasses, and we laughed that he was like a rockstar visiting his old home! He proudly ran ahead of us with his teachers to show us his class, his play areas, his bed and to visit with EVERY person we had contact with, and I do mean EVERY! They even let him go into a meeting that the medical staff was having and he ran through dispensing candy and "byes"! When we got to his "class", he went down each row of kids seated in their chairs and heartily shook their hands--perhaps a politician in the making? It was precious, and I am so sorry that the only record we will have of it is our memory since we couldn't take pictures of any children. We brought some candy for him to share, and we nearly created a riot when the kids saw that!!! The teachers got the class under control though, and Joshua happily and methodically made sure that each child and teacher got one piece. The little boys who tried to get more were "rebuked" by Joshua, who firmly held his ground that it was not fair for them to get more!

We then went to his "bedroom" where he ran to show us HIS bed. The nannies told him to sit on his bed for a picture, so he promptly started to undress, but they told him he could sit on it with his shoes on even, which he did, although it seemed to "wierd him out" a little! They all just gushed about what a good boy he is--helped to make all of the kids' beds without being asked, helpful with anything that they did and very good friend to all of the other kids. They were proud when I told them that he makes his bed at the hotel too. I truly believe that they loved Ze Ze and he had the best care possible there--not a home, not a family, but as good as it could have been.... We had no contact with the foster family, but it is evident that his time there was very good for him. The staff said he was a good boy, but more shy before he left, and they noticed how much more outgoing he was when he came back to the SWI about a month ago. He also had a similar aged foster brother who is also being adopted to U.S., and they provided his name so that maybe we can track him down.

It was such a relief that he did seem to enjoy his visit (and boy, was he wound out when we got home!!!!), but for sure it was bittersweet. We learned that Joshua himself has a lot of pain to work through, despite his happy-go-lucky exterior, which in a way, may make it harder for us to recognize and deal with.... Some of the kids we saw in his class will most likely never leave the SWI. One little girl had Downs syndrome, several of the little boys had eye issues, and they were almost all very small. We saw one little one (girl, I think, but they all have short hair and most wear girl's clothes) in a room by herself and she was looking out the window at us--so pale, and thin and weak. Mary touched her hand and she gripped Mary's finger, such that Mary had to unwrap her little fingers to leave.... I don't know if she was sick or just "checked out", but she reminded me so much of Jeremy when we got him..... I hope she is waiting for a family to come take her home; the alternative is too hard to think of.....

We also visited Joshua's "finding spot", the place he was found as a week old infant at 1:30 a.m. on February 29, 2004. I saw the apartments around the area, and I can imagine the poverty and desperation of the person who left him, but I cannot imagine leaving a baby, especially a weak, sick baby with birth defects alone on a sidewalk in the middle of the night. I wonder if they meant for him to be found or not? All life is not valued here, (sadly, true of our own country as well), and I wonder if his birth mother wonders about him at all? We will never know, but to be honest, I find it hard not to be upset about the circumstances.... She and his father, will forever be a part of our prayers, regardless of the circumstances, because it is the only way to heal all of our hearts.....

I need to go now, as Ze Ze is up and we need to get going again. We met with Judene Irvine, a Christain woman who has a ministry to the two orphanages in Shenzhen and is in the process of starting a school at Bao'an (Joshua's SWI) because the local school will not permit orphans to attend. I will write about it next time, as well as our ride to the SWI, where we observed the factories and dorms where workers live--unimaginable.